- L & B Austin. Hmm. This isn’t a good start. Haven’t seen or spoken to them in – what? – has it really been three years?
- J. Batten. Uh oh. Don’t have his current address. Guess I could e-mail him a touching, animated e-card.
- T. Barnes. Crap. Chances are he’s dead. Deep vein thrombosis.
- Local relatives. Seems silly.
- Oh god. Dead aunt.
- Long lost friend. Is she still at that address? What the hell. Gotta start somewhere. It’s a box of 15 cards.
- More relatives. Two alive and one dead. The dead one being my mom who passed away 20 years ago this December. Can’t bring myself to erase her from the book.
- And another friend I haven’t heard from in five years. Feeling like a miserable old fart. Bet there’s an E. Scrooge in the family tree.
- A friend of the hubby with cancer. Note necessary but not from me. Separate pile.
- His friend again. One HE hasn’t spoken to in 10 years. Laziness or misanthropy?
- AWOL couple, but in my defence they never returned one single solitary card in my six years of persistent card sending. One does expect something in return once in a while.
- Ah! Neighbour. I can walk hers across the street.
- Hells bells and buckets of blood, another deceased friend.
- Yes! Relatives again. Making a serious dent in the box now!
- Family doctors. Why not?!
- Hallelujah! Dear old friend. She gets a note. Feeling grateful.
- Actress and producer spouse. Feels a little grasping since we haven’t seen them in 7 years. Nah. Pass.
- Kids’ high school? Pathetic. Fine, fine, fine. Do it. Address the envelope.
- Divorced couple with old address. Sigh. This is SO complicated.
- Husbands pals. His job.
Well, that was easier than expected.
Would you like a Christmas card from Menomama? Send me your address. I have some leftover cards.